Teaching Social Manners

Children are brought into this world with free and open spirits and minds.  It is our responsibility, as their parents, to guide them and give them the tools they need to find their way in the world.  When you look at your hopes and dreams for your children, what are they?  More often than not, at the end of the day, the majority of parents simply want their children to grow into considerate and kind people that can make good choices in society.

Children begin learning the moment their heart starts beating.  Once they leave the comfort of the womb, they begin learning to navigate the outside world.  Will they learn that they can trust their environment because it is safe and predictable?  Will they learn to communicate with their parents to convey their feelings and needs?  Will they learn how to be part of their parent's social lives?

In order to teach our children to be positive members of society, we need to teach them the rules for behaving in social environments.  If we want our children to use good manners in other people's homes, we must teach them.  If we want our children to be respectful of others, we must teach them.  If we want our children to speak kindly to others, we must teach them how.  And we must teach them how to handle themselves when they do not feel like being kind.

If we fail to teach children proper social manners and hold them accountable to these expectations, they are left to navigate these situations on their own.  Because they are too young to see outside of their own world, they will be left with the assumption that they make the rules. However, they are too young to handle such responsibility.  Consequently, if they learn the wrong way at a young age, it is that much harder to "undo" the damage that has already being done.

Invest in your children: your time, your energy, and your passion.  It will yield such amazing results.  If you know what you want for your children and family, but are unsure of how to get there, I can help you get there....step-by-step.

Parenting Resources - The Toddler Tools Board Book Series

The Toddler Tools series, written by Elizabeth Verdick and illustrated by Marieka Heinlen,are board books that tell stories about natural transitions and events that happen in a young child's day.  Brought to you by Free Spirit Publishing, the stories model the proper way that parents can engage with and respond to their children when their toddler needs support with their daily schedule and transitions. 

The Toddler Tools series from Free Spirit Publishing includes a variety of titles the encompass many things young children are bound to encounter in their day.

• Naptime focuses on the reasons why children need sleep and reinforces that napping is a happy event that occurs in a cozy place they like.  The boy gets a hug and kiss before taking his nap and also gets an animal to snuggle.  Desired behaviors are stated positively in the story, "I know I can stay still until...zzzzzzzzzz."

• Listening Time reinforces good listening skills in children and shows them what they look like.  The message is simply stated and the behaviors that are stated are very age appropriate.   "Two eyes for looking, two ears for hearing, one mouth for closing."  (Now if only it was that easy, right? :) ) 

• Manners Time teaches children when and how to use their manners, such as "Hello", "Goodbye", "Please", "Thank you", "You're Welcome", "Excuse Me", "I'm Sorry", and "I forgive you".  One of my favorite messages in this book is that it encourages eye contact when speaking to others...it is never too late to enforce the importance of good values and respect in children.  

• Clean-Up Time and Bye Bye Time are two more books in the series.  Both model appropriate ways to deal with these transition times in a child's day, even when children resist at first.  Bye Bye Time is full of wonderful positive examples of how to refocus a child's anxiety when saying goodbye: taking a deep breath, crying a bit if you need to, and taking some alone time in a quiet place.

• Sharing Time is also part of the Toddler Tools series.  Additionally, Calm Down Time and Bedtime are now available for preorder. 
  

At the end of each book parents will find two pages of simple tips specific to the topic addressed. The tips are easy to understand and written in a way that shows compassion for children.  For example, when explaining the benefits of cleaning up toys, the tip encourages parents to explain that cleaning up clears the way and makes room for more...and new fun.

I really enjoy that each book shows parents engaging children in conversation; for example, when the child says no to taking a nap in Naptime, the mother asks if he remembers why he naps.  In turn, the child responds positively, which provides wonderful modeling for young toddlers when reading these books aloud.  A clear strength of this series is that the desired behaviors are crafted in a story composed of simple sentences; they are easy for children to understand and not so long that they get lost in the extras.   

The Toddler Tools series empowers children to handle all of these situations with confidence and ease.  They are a wonderful resource for parents of young children; one that can empower both you and your child.  The series was awarded the Creative Child  Preferred Choice Award; each book retails for $7.95 or you can purchase a set of eight for $54.08. 

Disclosure: Free Spirit Publishing sent me a set of the Toddler Tools series so I could share my thoughts with you.  My thoughts are my own and not influenced at all by outside sources.  

Keeping Track of Your Baby's Schedule Just Got Easier: Baby Activity Logger iPhone App

Becoming a parent is one of the most precious gifts we can ever receive in life.  Taking care of your baby is filled with so many new learning experiences, especially in the first few years. When speaking to first-time parents, I often hear how taking care of a baby is a bit more than they expected.

Babies need and deserve a lot of love and attention.  From feeding to sleeping to diaper changes to naps to burping to tummy gas to snuggle time, it can be hard to keep track of what happened when.  Yet, monitoring what your baby does is essential in the process of understanding your babies rhythm and internal schedule.  Babies are not born with all of this in place; it is our responsibility to help them figure it out.

There is an amazing iPhone app, the Baby Activity Logger, that can help you do just this.  You can monitor almost everything your baby does and look at a daily summary all with a single tap. 

You simply tap the activity you want to log: Feeding, Diaper Change, Sleeping, or Other Activities.  Feeding allows you to select whether they fed on the left or right side for nursing, a bottle, or solids.  You can also enter what solids they ate.  The Diaper Change button allows you to track whether that had a wet diaper, a poopy one, or both.  Sleeping allows you to track when your baby fell asleep or woke up.  Finally, Other Activities gives you the ability to log if your baby spit up, burped, or something else (i.e. tummy gas).

You can then view your baby's daily schedule, filter it by activity, email a report, export it to the server, or create reports according to how many ounces your baby drank, their sleep over 7 days,  or their overall activity.  The functionality of this app is quite amazing; I only wish I had it when my children were babies.  Easy to track and portable as well - especially handy for those visits to your pediatrician.


Aaron, the man who created this iPhone app, is a parent himself.  He created the app with a simple goal in mind:  to help him and his wife keep track of their baby's life.  He welcomes feedback from users and tries to make improvements that incorporate those suggestions.

Baby Activity Logger is a wonderful communication tool between parents and is great for babysitters as well.  It is easy to use and gives you concrete information about how your baby is doing.  Pairing this app with my baby sleep coaching services is a great combination that will help you and your baby feel better. 

If you are interested in trying the Baby Activity Logger app out, there are two ways to win a free download:

1.  Tweet this phrase: " Use the Baby Activity Logger iPhone app to help keep track of your babies schedule #parenting @MommyMentor @NerdTown"and please include a link to this article.  Within the first week of this article, two people who tweet that phrase will be randomly chosen to win a free download. 

2.  Head on over to my blog, From One Mommy to Another, and subscribe to my posts (upper left column).  That way you will be notified when I post the giveaway that Nerd Town is sponsoring for three free downloads of Baby Activity Logger.


Disclosure: Aaron contacted me to see if this product would be a fit for my readers and sleep coach training.  The only compensation I received was a promotional code for a free download of the Baby Activity Logger app.  Aaron is also providing three promotional codes for the latest release of Baby Activity Logger, which will be given away on my blog, From One Mommy to Another, at a later date.  Finally, two codes will be given to two randomly chosen people following this review. 

"What’s Up with My Family?" by Annie Fox

Annie Fox's new book, What’s Up with My Family?, is the third in the Middle School Confidential™  series, a series for tweens and teens as they make their way through the ever challenging middle school years.  The six characters that were introduced in Book 1, Be Confident in Who You Are, and Book 2, Real  Friends vs. the Other Kind, are back in Book 3.  


Chapter One addressed the very real issue of parents and children feel when children get older, but don't feel like that they are being respected.  The "why's" from the parents side are discussed and real feelings from teens are shared. Throughout the book, Ms. Fox does a nice job of showing both sides of how both children and parents feel.  While most teens probably find their parents extremely frustrating in their teenage years, positive stories are abudantly shared.  A pattern is clear throughout the book; teens who shared positive stories most often involved stories where their parents validated them as individuals.


Key points that teens will walk away with after reading, What's Up with my Family?, are:


1.  How to get more responsibility 
2.  How to move past hurt feelings and exercise forgiveness
3.  Relaxation exercises
4.  Tips for staying calm during conflict
5.  Five tips for dealing with change
6.  How to deal with unfairness
7.  How to communicate effectively to get permission for what you want
8.  Tips for a proper apology
9.  How to identify if "change" can trigger a bad mood
10. Strategies for battling bad moods and how to get "unstuck" when in one
11. How to cope when parents separate or divorce
12. The importance of collecting a family history...leads to feeling connected and a deeper understanding
13. Strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry
14. Strategies to focus on peace and positive relationships


Two things impressed me most about this book: the message was stated positively as often as possible and key points to remember were bulleted out to make them easier to remember.  Doing that within a book that contains comic book narrations is a tricky balance, but Ms. Fox does it with ease.  The narrative text allows parents to understand how teens interpret things and feel, while also demonstrating for everyone how to engage in positive and healthy communication that will lead to conflict resolution.


A message in What's Up with my Family? really struck a chord with me..."Breathe...and put yourself back in control."  Think about how profound this message is for children --- and parents. First, it teaches a simple technique; those are key for everyone when dealing with conflict.  I LOVE the words that Ms. Fox chose to use.  She did not say, "Get yourself back in control."  She chose, "Put yourself back in control."  For me, 'put' conveys something completely different.  It instills a sense of personal responsibility.  It teaches children how to be in charge of their behavior and choices.  If they behave that way, they will feel that way.  When they feel that way, they in turn will feel empowered and in charge of their life.  True ownership of our behavior is a life long lesson that is so powerful.  A book that instills the value of this...well, it just speaks to me.


What's Up with my Family?, written by Annie Fox and available from Free Spirit Publishing, can help all families better understand each other during the teenage years.  Through positive messages, clear strategies, familiar characters, and narrative text, it is easy for teens and parents to connect with. As a parent, educator, reading specialist, and parent coach, I recommend this to all families; you will receive so much support through a non-threatening venue. 

Gaining Control of Your Weight

It is official - Jillian Michaels is my new best friend (and yes, I realize I am not hers :) ). After five pregnancies within three and a half years...
two of which were miscarriages...
one of which gave us our Angel Jaxon in heaven when he was stillborn when I was full term...

and thankfully two of which gave us our amazing five-year-old boy and almost three-year-old girl...
and 42 pounds gained and lost three times...
I have finally reclaimed "me".

I worked out three times a week while pregnant and began exercising again as soon as I could after my c-sections. However, my body needed a kick start. And who better to do that than Jillian? I just decided it was now or never; after all...I am not getting any younger. In January, I began incorporating The South Beach Diet into my life to help control some bad carb habits. Then in June, I committed to the Shred for 30 days and saw my body finally do things it had never done. The Shred and her other DVD's are the staple of my workout routine.
So, why am I singing her praises today?

Because today I brought my winter clothes out to see how things fit for the season upon us. Some of my jeans and dress pants have been in hiding since having children...waiting...for me...to get control. I kept them purely as a challenge. Could I ever get back in them?
I can proudly answer YES! Today I got rid of some of those clothes because I chose to.

Because I met my challenge (and realized high waisted jeans are thankfully not in fashion anymore).

Because I did it. I worked hard until I figured it out. But, I finally did it.

Transitioning Your Child to Their Own Room

Life with children is full of transitions and adjustments. Just when you get one figured out, a new one appears. When transitions involve sleep for both children and adults, time if of the essence. Let's think of some...you could be:

• transitioning a baby a bassinet to a crib
  
• transitioning your baby from your room to theirs
• transitioning your baby from your bed to a bassinet or crib
• transitioning a toddler from a crib to a toddler bed
• transitioning a toddler who has slept in your room to their own room

Regardless of what you transition you need to deal with, coaching is a perfect way to accomplish the task. With coaching, you are given direct steps of what to do that are based on your child's personality and needs. You have someone to reflect with each day and walk through those steps with you. And let's face it, it is not always easy to do these tough tasks that clearly are challenging on our children. So having an ear, someone to tell you it is going to work, and someone to cheer you on when it does is very rewarding.

Coaching sessions are affordable with prices starting at $15. When all is said and done, most of these transitions should take a week or less, unless there are extreme conditions. I can coach you through the process for around $100. A small price to pay for peace of mind.

Please feel free to contact me to arrange for your personalized coaching experience.

National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day...

Here we are again. How do these years seem to pass so quickly?

Today is a day that is often overlooked by many - National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. A day to remember, honor, cherish, and love those babies who were taken too early. A day to give an extra hug to those who have lost their babies.

While I have shared our story before, the lessons for life that our Angel teaches us will never end. We are better people because of our dear son, who was stillborn at 37 weeks. On certain days, I feel special that we have an Angel - not everyone gets one. On other days - I don't feel special.

I want him back...with us.

I want the craziness of three children here...with us.

I want him here to celebrate life, birthdays, and holidays...with us.

I want him on family vacations; I guess I just want him.

So my dearest Jaxon, please know that I still remember every little detail of you. I remember your curls, your coarse hair, your perfect skin, your tiny fingers...everything. I remember as if it were yesterday how deep the pain of losing you is. I will never forget you sweet boy.

If you have found me and have suffered a loss, I would love to talk with you. I went to counseling after losing our son and would cherish the chance to coach you through your healing process.

In our Angels memory,